31 of the Best Retirement Jokes | ThinkAdvisor I call it bliss. Funny Police Quotes - Etsy All sorted from the best by our visitors. 53 Funny Retirement Quotes - Best Wishes and Quotes.com Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. Just buy the haystack. And dont forget carefully crafted police chief retirement wishes and prayers for the man or woman at the helm of the department. They suspected it of fowl play. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! It's all lazy days from now on! Know what you own, and know why you own it. 3. Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Happy Retirement! A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 . Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you The perfect crime was committed last night. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Obviously . Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. Abe Lemons. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. 64. Call the Police. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Why did the police arrest the turkey? "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Capitalize on what comes. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Enjoy your new 7 day weekend We help. Take Us With You! Humorous quotes and messages. Finally a police car comes up. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." . Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Retirement! Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service 12. hypotheticals based on information you provide. Funny Police Quotes And Sayings - ShortQuotes.cc 4. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Funny Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Dishes the police. Charles Lamb. to utter words, but to live by them. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. They serve and protect. picclick.com. 30. 32. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? 27. 50+ Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings | LoveToKnow 61. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. "Retirement is wonderful. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . I believe in financial retirement. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. Amazon.com: Retired Police Shirt Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . 38. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Are you a police officer? The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. 161+ Funny Retirement Cake Sayings Will Make You Smile Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? May we live up to your example. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Thats what he is here for. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. Off the clock - for good! Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Retirement Quotes | The 30 Best Inspirational & Funny Retirement Quotes W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. A word of warning. As long as youre working, you stay young. All content, Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. I call it bliss." Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. The world needs more police officers like you. Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." 80+ Funny Retirement Messages, Wishes and Quotes A. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. 39 Retirement Quotes for Police Officers - Someone Sent You A Greeting Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. Today is my graduation day. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Quote Mug. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes Oh, my friend, that can't be! Retirement Wishes for a Police Officer - Wishes Messages Sayings Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. 62. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. The ground is part of nature. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." A bloody clock!" Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. Cars are backed up for miles. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. 75+ Best Retirement Quotes: Funny and Inspirational Retirement Quotes Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. 57. A word of warning. 75 Happy Retirement Wishes, Messages, & Quotes - Homemade-Gifts-Made Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Hello to a new adventure. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence.