we broke up and he got another girl pregnant we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

All I can say is therapy. So, let it be over. Heres a thought experiment for you: This guy, you can most definitely live without. When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. Leaving the issues of the suggested abortion and unprotected sex aside (which have also been beaten over the head on this thread), that was what really struck me as I was looking through these comments. You two seems very good at twisting everyones words, and then getting mad at those people for it. I vehemently disagree when it is not in that order. He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby.. The family structure is dynamic and without balance, falls apart. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. Wow..two mintueswhen did he realize he couldnt stand her before or after the two minutes? Problem. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. There are so many variations on how the parents choices can conflict but no choice after the fact will make it even for both mother and father. There isnt even a child on the scene yet (!) Susie is lost. Also, it implies that using a condom prevents pregnancy. But, of course, this makes him an asshole. Theyre both opposed to abortion but theyre being safe, right? So people got together, decided coke is in the best position to pay if its bottles explode and there you are. I mean, he loved the baby mama enough to get erected & to bang her & to just release evrything to make her pregnant, & what the fuck am I thinking?!?!? Because of my family not being to fond of him we broke it off and i was depressed for along time. bittergaymark And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. Scummy is the wrong word to use. What exactly would your perfect laws look like in regard to custody and child support anyway? Whatever the case, youre not adding to the discussion. When they were last together, he cheated on her many times and got another girl pregnant. Of course my opinion of her is based on the story he is telling you. Because it doesnt work that way around here and everyone knows it. I think the LW here should wash her hands of this whole mess and stay away from the drama. Its when a mans sperm connects with a womans egg. She takes her pill every day at the same time. I wanted to be the one who had a baby with . SpaceySteph I do not think he has a duty to be there for the child he never wanted and made it known he did not want to have with time to do something about it. A kid is not a building. If you are so against men having to pay for a child they dont want that was nonetheless created by their penis couldnt you make this issue a hell of a lot easier by just telling your male friends to wrap it up? We should use it more often. The scapegoats arent really the point- women, minorities, the government, poor people, rich people- it doesnt really matter. Your biological child. Consider that this is the kind of guy that has casual sex with people he doesnt really know/like while on break from a relationship with someone he cant live without. Now. You have to be mature and know what is best for you. LOL What? Is it the fact that he wants something different from what she does that makes him scum? If he doesnt do this, and the woman gets pregnant anyways, he needs to show maturity and be responsible for his decisions. Its as simple as saying you are on the pill when you arent. Identical twin men: one is an IVF doctor, one is a carpenter. It's believed to be ineffective because for years people thought there were sperm cells in pre-cum, but that's a myth. If theres anyone whos unfairly been put in this mess, its not you its the baby. And the internet is this perfect little anonymous bubble for people to shoot off their anger. Admirable restraint indeed. Has a great job. Heres the fact: LW, you dont get a say in what this woman does, and neither does your boyfriend. ! And then of course Ross WE WERE ON A BREAK meltdown. I dont know. I wouldnt advocate using the pull-out method alone, but if some stranger says Its cool, Im on the Pill and you dont *quite* believe her and you dont have a condom, I guess it wouldnt hurt. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. 6napkinburger The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass.. lets_be_honest If the man doesnt, apparently you feel that he should not have that option. You experience a myriad of emotions, and sometimes, you feel guilty or even blame yourself for why the relationship ended.This is all the more reason why it feels like a big fat kick in the teeth to discover that your ex is an overlapper: s(he'd . I am pro-choice, for both woman and for men. Because you sound about 17. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. Weird question. 6napkinburger But I just don't know anymore. You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape. There are unfair aspects of the whole legal and biological reproductive system for both men AND women. Senior year of high school, you turn to your boyfriend and say the words hes been dying to hear I think Im ready. He responds with Great, Im totally ready to be a dad anyway. Uh, no, were using protection. No, I know. There is a certain degree of sadness in all of this, yes, but Ive turned out far better than my friends whose fathers have been unable to make up their minds one way or another about parenthood. Remember we are hearing all this second or third hand. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. Step away slowly. So, if she opted for an abortion and he was furious with her for not keeping the baby, would he be scum? At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. What do you think happens to the fetus? Its not exactly the same by any means, but similar enough for me to have thought it. April 9, 2012, 3:44 pm. Cant say Id give one to a stranger but intercourse with a stranger isnt my cup of tea either. LW, you need to take time to look at what you want in your life. female Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). It takes two to make a baby. April 10, 2012, 6:28 pm. She has decided to keep the baby and that is not his choice and CERTAINLY not yours. So then, to be clear, your point isnt that gay men are more likely to wear condoms. Male rape victims notwithstanding, men control where their sperm goes. Why do you think that is? Cold, but I suppose not unheard of. But simply disagreeing with others does NOT fit the definition of a troll, not by a long shot. But it also ought to be her responsibility. Can I interject for a moment and note that CUSTODY isnt generally whats tied to support; PLACEMENT is. Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. Im guessing thats where most of us got the idea that he was trying to push it on her. Remember that episode when Rachel told Ross she was pregnant and he freaked out because they used condoms? Any complications from the abortion would be hers to bear, not his. April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. What is he supposed to do to prove hes not scum? meaning, i was on the pill, i brought condoms, i asked about testing. But just my guess. Women have figured that game out, and it sucks. At the time, he said he would wait years for me - until he could be with me. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. The fact that you are even considering getting back with this guy right now blows my mind. His character and judgment are awful. Thats reality. I-RIGHT-I Thats the risk that you take. We do live in a world where your opinion on one thing may not in fact be the most correct or perhaps their might even be two sides, both reasonable and rational positions to take. Thats taking responsibility for your own choices. As of now, all he has done is indicated that he wanted her to have an abortion. OK, this is going to be longer than it should, but I have reactions to several things. The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. And if so, Im ready. Maam, he didnt waste any time moving on from you. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019, Chaka Khan Shows No Mercy Blasting Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey & Other Names On Rolling Stone's 'Greatest Singers' List, Funniest (And Pettiest) Tweets From NBA All-Star Weekend 2023. April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. I dont ever remember being heartbroken about not having a father. And since placement errs to the mother, so does support for the exact reason you pointed out above, Addie: support is a gender-blind concept. I mean for fuck sake? And do some growing up before you get involved with someone else. Let him go. I dont know how Im going to feel about this baby malarky. Only it is the LW who seems intent on absolving the boyfriend from all responsibility saying furious. April 9, 2012, 7:11 pm. Why he would be furious with anyone other than himself is beyond me. lets_be_honest And hopefully people begin to realize that just taking the pill isnt an absolute gurantee that you wont make a baby. He hadnt. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. You dont honestly believe that logic that applies to one situation should be applied to all situations, do you? April 9, 2012, 4:59 pm, FancyPants Going through the comments here, right on cue, I already record no less than five times that the boyfriend is called scum or scumbag. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? ! I dont know how you can defend it. A condoms like 50 cents. Look you can either take what the LW wrote in the letter to be a marginally accurate representation of what is going on or why bother reading and commenting at all? He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. It just doesnt mean that everything will be acceptable whole-heartedly. If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her. So he and the LW should break up for good. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. By having sex you are saying that the woman might get pregnant and you are willing to deal with it if that is the case. Documents were drawn up by said lawyers. female Some people are correct that the LWs anger is displaced. well, then Id run screaming the other way. You already have something that will tie you to her for minimum 18 years. April 10, 2012, 7:42 pm. You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning. If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else . I blocked his number, but 2-3 weeks laterhe was calling me from his job, calling me through Facebook, and calling me from a private number. Let me repeat myself IT IS NOT A LOTTERY WIN. The only thing you need to think about is if you can stay and have a healthy relationship with a man who has a child with another woman and wants to bear minimal responsibility for raising the child. He made his position very clear very early on. However, a man should have no such option and should be forced to pay (literally and figuratively) for having sex. You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning.. Youre taking something he is saying pre-child and assuming that it is the reality of what will happen post-birth. God, Im so glad someone else thought of that word when reading this letter because Ive used that word exactly three times in my life as an insult, and yet I couldnt quit thinking it. But not usually. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have. So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum? When I hit the ground, I jumped up, pulled the safety clip off the release assembly and slapped it. What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. bittergaymark .. but what if she did deceive him? I might disagree to a minor degree with some of your points although, re-reading your reply, I dont really think so but thats a great summary, and also completely out of place in this thread because its so rational. No, then I would say she is just stupid. lets_be_honest You are too funny John. . But were here to offer advice to LW, so I say evanscr05 is right: Dump this loser, yesterday. Both parties should be concerned about birth control. But they should try and work together to create a decent life for the child it does not have to be in a relationship with one another though. Or you think that landygirl does that? 8. He chose to not wear a condom and now he has to be responsible for his choice. Im currently going through a rough breakup with my partner of nearly 9 years, and if this happened to me two months from now I would be having angry, irrational emotions too. April 10, 2012, 7:10 pm. If you are a woman, if you just met a guy, and if you become pregnant, you can get 20+ years of child support. 3) A parent leaving their child with the other parent, especially one they barely know, isnt the same as putting a child up for adoption. When choosing adoption, I think youve made a conscious decision that your child will be better off being parented by people other than you. SweetsAndBeats It hurts me that he will have to go through his first child experience with someone else while I watch. In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy back but the guy is the one who pulled away. lets_be_honest Yes, its not a crime. I mean, seriously. Start sinking down in the gutter, and no, Im not going to follow you there. April 10, 2012, 10:14 pm, if a man has sex with a woman, they should be prepared to pay dearly for it for the rest of their lives. 2. I have no doubt theyll be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted with a mom so loving as you! April 10, 2012, 6:43 pm. The man has NOTHING to do with any child creation. I just want her to know so that she won't expect anything like my boyfriend marrying him. Anthony Leonson After that, its not your choice anymore. Its none of your business. So he had no obligation to her whatsoever. Whos the daddy? Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. I dont think anyone thinks hes an ass for having sex with someone after a split. When you two were engaged, he cheated and had a child by another woman. Men get a say in abortions? Boy, for someone who cant live without you, he sure didnt wait to go out and sleep with someone else! And, again, this is common except with those inflicted with social disorders who cant seem to not say exactly what theyre thinking. I doubt the conversation went like: Please have an abortion. SpaceySteph Since you obviously cant formulate a cogent argument on the merit of these laws in response to my questions (as it doesnt interest you), I wonder why you keep going out of your way to engage this conversation. Why do you assume everything is so laid back though? I totally understand. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark.. In this situation, there would be no contest of custody or support. If he suddenly decided to emotionally ditch this woman when she was five months pregnant or after the baby was born, Id been singing another tune.